Here is my thri shot of the summer and this one was incredibly hard. Im not too happy with it right now but I think it will come together once I get some more time to really work on it. Shots like this are really hard for me but I learn so much. this shot is obviously not even close to being done but I figured I would post it anyways and I plan on getting back to it in a few days. My CA teacher last year Kieth Osborn told me that you have to show them your ugly too if you want to get any better. So here is my ugly. i relly want to get this one to work. so any crits would be awesome. I have gotten behind on my animations due to a number of things so the next week or so I wil be trying to catch up with my shots. really spending som time getting them to sing. I really want to make sure that my shots look nice and not just be done. I also hve a lot of posts to catch up on.
Hi Scott,
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind a few comments from an old fart. First off, it's looking really nice and I really like the overall direction. There's a sincerity to the performance that's appropriate and touching. I'm not going to give you any acting notes as I feel that you're on the right track. Just some small things that could possibly improve upon what you have.
I'd open up the composition a bit more. It's kinda distracting that his mouth is mostly obscured by the shoes. I think you can raise the camera some, maybe even go with more of a down shot and get closer to on-axis so it's more personal to your audience. Right now the bottom half of the frame is just the table and it's a bit claustrophobic with him being constrained to the top half.
The brows seem overly active. Lots of up and down. If I were to give it a fraction, I'd cut it in half. Yes, I too was told there'd be no math. Sorry.
The down-turned mouth corners are pushed to far - unnaturally so. Pull them back quite a bit. The eyes are going to carry the brunt of the emotion and you're doing a great job with those.
Okay - just one minor acting note that may or may not improve the scene. Or make any sense whatsoever. Think about what the shoes represent to him. With that in mind, would he be push them away or draw them closer to him?
Also, make sure you have the eyeline consistent. In the beginning he's looking up quite a bit but when he returns his gaze to the salesperson at the end, it looks like he's looking a little lower.
I hope this helps. Nice job man. Keep it up!!!!